just try

TRY - Nelly Furtado


All I know 
Is everything is not as it's sold 
but the more I grow the less I know 
And I have lived so many lives 
Though I'm not old 
And the more I see, the less I grow 
The fewer the seeds the more I sow 

Then I see you standing there 
Wanting more from me 
And all I can do is try 
Then I see you standing there 
Wanting more from me 
And all I can do is try 

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness 
And all the real people are really not real at all 
The more I learn the more I cry 
As I say goodbye to the way of life 
I thought I had designed for me 

Then I see you standing there 
Wanting more from me 
And all I can do is try 
Then I see you standing there 
I'm all I'll ever be 
But all I can do is try 
Try 

All of the moments that already passed 
We'll try to go back and make them last 
All of the things we want each other to be 
We never will be 
And that's wonderful, and that's life 
And that's you, baby 
This is me, baby 
And we are, we are, we are, we are 
Free 
In our love 
We are free in our love 

whole-e-day

Holiday on university is really kind of a boredom for me, I'm not taking short-semester or what they called "semester pendek".. so I'm having two months without any routine activities. I've spent the holiday on Palembang like almost a month, accompanying my brother which had a block test till done. then go back to Jakarta.

me in holiday is really an unproductive human being. just spent money going to the mall with some friends, without earn even a penny. But I try cooked, and add some skill at cooking, even just the simple kind of food. yippie :D

This boredom finally found the end, yesterday. meet some of my brother's friend at Trans Studio Bandung. and have really good conversation with them, having so much laugh with them even we just already met. They are hilarious... Can't tell much more about them cause I just to busy to laugh at the time.. Actually, they are hilarious because of their accent.. my brother's friend which is from UnSri-Palembang speak in Palembang accent and I couldn't stop laughing on their weird yet funny accent..

Another friend of my brother is from Bandung, which is had Sunda accent. He spoke with a fluent Indonesia language, but still in Sunda's style.. really can't stop laughing at the time. besides his really weird yet funny accent on speaking, he's kind of good looking. I just have no idea, when talking about him, there's curve on my face known as smile :)

Still having my thought that falling in love is all just about the time, it happen just like that. I could analogize that love is just like a multiple choice case, you may choose one between so many option, the one that you choose   is not always the exact answer, it could be wrong, and could probably be true. you never know what you've been choose is correct or not, till you've got the result. before that, it means you really have to try to choose one, rite? if you never choose, how could you know that's the one? 

l'm on my way to make you proud someday

I do complain a lot in my life, about everything that related to me or even not. My assumption, it was genetic, because mom do complain about everything just like what I'm doing.
I share stories to mom a lot, do conversation just like what mother and daughter suppose to do. and ever since I decide to continue my study in psychology, I have this one subject of discussion that really bothers me.
It's when mom starts to talking about how she would be proud of her children if their become a doctor.
oh come on, what's wrong with another profession. It's not about I don't want to make mom happy, but I just feel have no passion becoming a doctor. I don't hate being a doctor, I just don't want to. it's always been succeed making me feel bad about my decision. Heard about what mommy said that she will be proud when having their children as a doctor, makes me feel she wont be happy looking at me which is soon will be a psychologist.

Dear mom, I never want to argue about me being a psychologist instead of being a doctor, I know it just would make you feel more disappointed to me. For God Sake, I really want to be someone that you can be proud of, but being a doctor is just not the way for me. I will make you proud someday, for being who I belongs to. I promise