Rangkaian Kata dalam Doa

Sungguh besar kuasa Tuhan...
Menuliskan alur kehidupan..
Mengalahkan segala daya dan upaya tak terkira..
Untuk dinikmati setiap berkahnya..

Kubaca segala pertanda..
Kuyakinkan pada segala arti pesan-Nya..
Sungguh Engkau mendengar apa yang kupinta,
Mungkin Engkau dengar ada hati kecil yang juga meminta di ujung sana..
Lalu Kau runtuhkan tembok besar antara kami berdua,
Dan membuka ruang untuk Kami bersama..

Aku pasrahkan pilihanku pada Takdir-Mu
Jika ini yang memang menjadi kehendak-Mu,
maka satukanlah Kami atas seizinMu..

CANYONS

Rarely do the words I love you precede a question mark - but it is a question nonetheless and your answer to mine was the incarnation of a wish - the fulfillment of a promise

Somewhere between falling in and out of love, the question spilled from our lips over and over - readily answered with greedy hands and ravenous mouths. It was cautiously whispered on rooftops, as we looked down on terrifying heights and cried out under creased, white sheets in breathless admissions.

towards good-bye, I asked the question, and your reply was thoughtless words echo as I stood, feeling as though was shouting meaningless words into an empty canyon-just to hear them repeated back.





I love you, he says
I turn my body to face his. Say it again.
He says it over and over again, pulling me beneath him.

Canyons - Lang Leav.

Conversation between lovers...

X: I don't know the difference between real love and a fake one or just lust.

Y: You don't tell the difference, you know it's real when you feel loved. 

Bleed For This

The biggest lie that people ever tell us about life is.. life isn't that simple.

Then everything comes in our mind, we begin to consider things that would happen.
Then here they comes the "Big If" and all the scenarios we made in our mind...
and then worry came, we started to think about it. Is it possible? am I capable of doing it?
so then we scared of something that we don't know yet.  and then we gave up to the things we're scary of, so we stop imagine it, and let it go. and then we pity ourself about the dream we refuse to make it happen.

Is that how it works?
will you let life happens like that?

so now. tell yourself. that LIFE IS THAT SIMPLE. IT IS THAT SIMPLE.
what you gonna do is JUST DO.

as the time goes by..

Those I love you words finally replied with something more beautiful than just "no.. you don't"
The denial phase come to an end. It's me trying to accept the love you pour to me..

Then I whisper to your ear.. "I feel lucky I met you".. followed by a big smile, long silent, staring eye to each other and a blissful feeling...

The moment that could make me believe :
- You may find your soul mate, but you might not having him as your spouse
- A kiss could stop the time.

I feel grateful today because I have been very productive at the office, have some laugh with office colleague, eat richeese, getting 75% of my money back from the ticket train that I've bought wrong, have a chat and laugh with mom, and aunties.. and have a really loud laugh at the video call before I go to bed.. I thank you God for all the happiness you bring to me today, I know I couldn't stop asking you for more happiness in my life, may You always bless me with all the positivity in my mind so I can feel grateful everyday like today. I feel peaceful..

The Values Challenge

Bonjour..!

So this month, I have been reading a book titled "The Productivity Project" by Chris Bailey, I bought this book at periplus about a month ago and luckily it's on sale 50%. yeiy! and, turns out, this book is quite good because I can finish it till chapter 1..... hopefully I can finish all those 26 chapters of this book. *crossfinger*

Here, I'll get you a little bit of this chapter 1 is about..
"while some people have normal interests like sports, music, and cooking, as strange as it might sound, the author of this book has always been obsessed with becoming as productive as possible."
While I am here, 23 years old woman, single, have a settled job, doing fine with her life, and yet still wondering what kind of things that could make me feel obsessed.. I might say I don't know what my passion is.. or what kind of activities that could make me very passionately doing it. still have no idea.. so the first chapter is about...

The Three Ingredients of Productivity
When you have more to do than ever before, less time to do it, and unparalleled freedom and flexibility with how you get it done, productivity is no longer about how efficiently you work. Productivity is about how much you accomplish.!

In this new environment, the most productive people not only manage their time well - they also manage their attention and energy well. When we waste time, we're procrastinating. when we can't manage our attention well, we're distracted. And when we don't cultivate our energy levels, we're tired. And here I am, as a pure lazyass pro-crastinator who easily distracted... how could I become a one productive hell of a guy????

Here we come to the productivity challenge number 1...
The Values Challenge : 
1. Imagine this : as a result of implementing the tactics in this book, you have two more hours of leisure time every day. How will you use that time? what new things will you take one? what will you spend more time on?

2. when you picked up this book, what productivity goals, or new habits, routines, or rituals did you have in mind that you wanted to take on?

If, thinking about value is too daunting to you.. It says you can just fill in this blank each change you want to make : I deeply care about this because ______. 

step 1. 
I googled list of values... looking for what kind of values that I deeply care about, which heading me to confuse about what is happening to me right now, and I am surely wnat to figure it out what I really want. I want happiness, I want serenity, I want challenge, I want fun, adventurousness, excitement..  I want new things that never happened before. I want achievement, I want to go abroad, I want to learn more and more and more...

So I damnly care about this productivity things because I fckin want to be the best of me in my fckin one damn life.... so let's not waste the time being a procrastinator.. everyone got their chance to be their best version of themselves...

Simplicity. Homeliness. Modesty. You name it. Things that could make me fall allover again.

Angels

It happens like this, One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else-closer to them than your closest family. perhaps because this person carries an angel within them-one sent to you for some high purpose, to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them-even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering-the reason for their presence will become clear in due time.

Though here is a word of warning-- you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn't to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled, the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exists your life. They will be a stranger to you once more.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's so dark right now, I can't see any light around me.
That's because the light is coming from you. You can't see it but everyone else can.




Re-writing Lang Leav words.... because I never find someone who could beautifully write things that I believe this whole time about the purpose of people's existence in our life. Finally I found it.

For You

Here are the things I want for you.

I want you to be happy. I want someone else to know the warmth of your smile, to feel the way I did when I was in your presence.

I want you to know how happy you once made me and though you really did hurt me, in the end, I was better for it. I don't know if what we had was love, but if it wasn't, I hope never to fall in love. Because of you, I know I am too fragile to bear it.

I want you to remember my lips beneath your fingers and how you told me things you never told another soul. I want you to know that I have kept sacred, everything you had entrusted in me and I always will.

Finally, I want you to know how sorry I am for pushing you away when I had only meant to bring you closer. And if I ever felt like home to you, it was because you were safe with me. I want you to know that most of all.

 - in love with Lang Leav words -

Three Questions

words. by Lang Leav
on Lullabies.

perfectly describe, what I can't describe. the answer to Gratitude and Joy is purely what I feel inside..

To Sorrow,
  I might said I've been betrayed. I know you're gonna come anyway, sooner or later..
  and even I have been prepared for that.. one thing that always replaying on my mind..
  you.. whispering to my ear "don't leave  me too soon" as if like you will stay.. forever.

to whom I'd never say 'I love you' to his ear...
to whom his 'I love you' replied with 'no, you don't'...
thank you for coming by and meeting me for a reason my dear la la land.. 

ci vediamo! 

My Gratitude Diary #1

Thank God it's Monday taste like friday.

• Because tomorrow is a free day. And I already get things to do for tomorrow, and really excited about that. guess what? I am gonna have my very-first fun-rock-climbing activity tomorrow. I am trying so hard to hold my excitement and hold the expectation so far, because I don't want any expectation to ruin the fun. 

• Sometimes, when I get alone in my room, I put the music on, and start on trying clothes, yes, it is more than one piece of clothe, and today luckily it is just 5 piece of clothes that I put on me. Because I will having to attend my friend's wedding this saturday, I pondered the question of what clothes to wear for the occasion. the music, and the clothes I have been try to put on me, somehow bring my moods up today. 

okay, think it is done for today, because I have to get some rest so I could wake up early tomorrow morning. yeiy! can't wait for a fun-rock climbing tomorrow! 

  

A little piece of one soul

Teruntuk jiwa yang datang tak terduga
Menemukan belahannya setelah sekian lama
Terpaut angka yang tak bermakna
Mengisi ruang dalam jiwa yang hampa

Teruntuk jiwa yang mengutuk takdir
Adakah upaya agar ini tak segera berakhir
Berandai andai pada sebuah kemungkinan
Mungkinkah bahagia ini dapat terus hadir

Teruntuk jiwa yang terus mengukir
Kata cinta dalam bisik manja
Pernahkah engkau berpikir
Ada sesak dalam cinta yang tak nyata

Teruntuk jiwa.
Yang terlambat datangnya.
Biarlah ini jadi rahasia.

Opinion and why it's hard for me

As a 23 years old young employee and proudly saying that I am a pure generation Y, I found myself a little bit of having difficulties expressing my own opinion. There might be some reasons that made me feel that way, such as :

First, because I usually holding my self to express an argument because I am having trouble with my diction, the words I choose sometimes (almost everytime) hurting others. And telling opinion in a very assertive way, is really hard. So, I am giving applause for those who could express their opinion without even hurting others feeling, and not involving any emotion in their opinion.

Second,  I found myself a lil bit too easy to distract by something, hard to focus on important thing, lately I have been thinking myself "am I having an Attention Deficit Disorder?" hopefully not. 

Third, as insecure as a teenage girl who is still in an identity crisis phase, hardly to admit that I am a real coward because I am scared that other will judge me within my opinion about something, I am scared of standing in one side, I am scared of being responsible about what I choose to believe. Or, in psychology phrase we used to call it 'the spotlight effect' it is the phenomenon when we tend to believe that we are being noticed more than we really are. 

For those three reason, so far I still have no solution to beat it, but now I am trying to deal with things that make me scared of in expressing opinion. 

Doing some teraphy by writing in this blog.. :) 

voila! 

Two Lost Soul Swimming in a Fish bowl

Relationships are hard. Life is hard.